The Aftermath
by LadyGinoza
Summary: One-shot, Gino in the rehabilitation center where he recovers after the events of episode 21.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own psycho-Pass or the characters

 **Rated T**

 **Summary:** One-shot, Gino in the rehabilitation center where he recovers after the events of episode 21.

* * *

"You're a detective! Fulfill your duty!"

The sound of a rumbling explosion is all that I hear in my head as my eyes jolt open as I try to catch my breath, trying to calm my racing heart down when a sudden surge of pain goes through my left shoulder. Reminding me even more of what I lost that day. My arm, my job and my life but none of that comes close to the most important thing that I lost…

I can still see him lying there bleeding, and there was nothing I could do to save him as he laid there panting in pain, his mechanical arm blown off and his eyes glassy.

I never felt so powerless as I did in that moment and nothing mattered anymore. I didn't care that I had ripped my arm off to get out from under that rubble, that I myself was seriously injured and bleeding.

I had forgotten, no completely ignored that Makishima was still there or had managed to get away, I'm not sure but it didn't matter as I further ignored my duty and all I could think about was dad. That I knew he was dying and I couldn't call for help with my terminal having been broken when I pulled my arm free…

I watched him die and everything I'd always wanted to tell him remained unsaid…

Those are my deepest regret; that I never told him exactly how I felt. That I loved him so much and that I now have to live knowing that the last conversation I had with him was spoken in spite and anger but it's not like it was anything new, that's how we've been for the last eight years all because of me and my stupid grudge.

He gave me my space, probably thought and hoped that my anger would pass and I'd approach him myself but I never did. The truth is that the anger I had for having lost him had been long gone but I kept a grudge and continued to spite him for no reason at all. Part of me wanted for him to come up to me and to call me out on my bullshit and I waited but he never said a word. Not even when I had grabbed him by the collar, he simply took it without even raising his voice to me.

I would give anything to have him back, to have him here with me I'd give it all but he's gone and all of it was my fault right to the bitter end.

I didn't listen to his advice; I kept on pushing in that case when I know I should have backed down. I should have paid closer attention to my surroundings instead of mouthing off about what he had done to allow Kougami to run free. If I had done what I was supposed to instead of interrogating him, I wouldn't have walked into that trapped and dad wouldn't have had to die…

I knew what dad did was the logical choice to make by allowing Kougami to escape and roam free was the only way to track and stop Makishima. There was no one else who could have tracked him down better and the only way to allow Kougami to run wild had been for him to go outside the law.

I knew that and yet I was so angry at dad for doing it, not because Kougami had went outside the law but because of what it meant.

Once Makishima would have been caught, I would have had to go after Kougami which then that would lead to his death and that is what I just couldn't accept or face… I was angry that he had abandoned me and became a latent criminal but at least he was still there in a sense but by fleeing the MWPSB I knew I'd never see him again…

All of that no longer matters anymore, I've lost everything in a matter of seconds and all I have is this dumb white padded room as I try to get used to this mechanical arm but it's much harder than I had first thought…

My shoulder hurts every time I try to move it and I've been told that even though it hurts I have to move so the nerves do not become lazy and give me even more trouble but I don't feel anything with this arm and I end up breaking everything that I touch with it… I hate it and yet it's the only thing that I have to remind me of dad.

Ironic really that I ended up a latent criminal myself just like he did and I ended up losing my arm, the exact same arm he had lost many years ago in an incident that I know nothing about.

I took him for granted, somehow in my head it never occurred to me that he'd die and now he's gone and the void is greater than I had ever imagined it would be.

After dad died, not long after I lost conscious from my own blood loss and the pain that had consumed my body.

When I woke up I was already here at the Adachi Municipal Psycho-Pass Correction and Medical Care Center and I woke to my arm having been amputated and replaced by the mechanical one. They didn't even bother to try and save my real one but I didn't try to argue with the medical staff about it, there wasn't any point in doing so. After all I'm no longer viewed as a human anymore so my opinions on anything are no longer of any importance…

The nurses have been telling me since I've started my rehabilitation that I've been making slight progress in my recovery but my crime coefficient has only slightly dropped and has stabilized for a while now. Although they say that they are confident that my hue will clear up eventually, I know that it won't. I've seen it way too many times to know exactly how it ends and this is it. It won't get any better than this.

"You have a visitor."

The soft voice of the nurse takes me out of my thoughts as she slightly knocks on the glass wall but I don't move other than looking away from the young nurse as I answer. "I don't want to see anyone…"

Out of all the nurses that I have, this one is by the far the kindness and most caring and even though I appreciate the extra effort she does to make my stay here as comfortable as possible it only becomes an unnecessary gesture.

After a few minutes of silence, without another word but I can feel some hesitation as she walks away I was a little surprised that she didn't try to convince me otherwise to see who ever came to visit me like she always does and honestly I'm thankful that she didn't try to pressure it onto me. I just don't want anyone to look at me and pity me for what I've become. I don't deserve it.

Calm footsteps catch my attention as it gets closer before stopping in front of my quarters so I guess I was wrong, she will try to get me to change my mind-.

"How are you feeling?"

That voice, I know it all to well but I can't bring myself to look at her; I wish she would have stayed away. Of all people, Tsunemori is the last person I can face right now. As her partner, I failed her just like Kougami had failed me and how ironic we both took an enforcer down with us. I wonder if this is fate's sick way of a joke…

"Sorry that was a poor question to ask…" She says as I hear her come closer to the glass wall. "Dime is doing great but he misses you very much. Ms. Kunizuka and Ms. Karanomori are having fun spoiling him at work." She adds and I can tell that she's trying to cheer me up. I appreciate the gesture, I really do but I wish she'd just go away already and leave me to rot, it's all that I deserve…

I wondered what had happened to Dime, I didn't think anyone would have taken care of him after I was gone. I'm thankful that Tsunemori decided to take care of him, that he wasn't put down because of me but it's still something that she didn't need on her shoulders. I left so much trouble behind for her to take…

"Please talk to me." She tells me, her voice soft and calm.

"I have nothing to say…" I answer after a few minutes of silence.

"I doubt that… I doubt that very much Mr. Ginoza. Everything that's happened if there is one thing that you do have is things to say." She states but in all honesty I really don't have anything to say. All that I do have to say are things that don't need to be said, it is already known so why bother saying them. All of it is just pointless.

"Save the formalities for someone who has a life…" I reply.

There really isn't any reason for her to address me the same as she used to and to be honest it annoys me and somehow it annoys me even more than usual. Mister… I never liked being address with such formalities; I'm not an old man. Mr. Ginoza was my grandfather; I'm not that old…

An awkward silence fills the atmosphere as I quickly glance to see if she's still there and much to my dismay she is. Just starring back at me with a sad expression and a hand onto the glass window but under that expression she's pulling, she can't hide the slight exhaustion she has. After everything that's happened it's understandable, even I'm exhausted but having been in here for who knows how long now I don't have any reasons to be tired but Tsunemori does.

"Mr. Masaoka was given a proper funeral and I chose a headstone for you. I think you'd like it, I'd take you there if you want." She says breaking the long silence but I can't bring myself to comment on that.

I'm glad that my dad got a proper headstone; it at least shows that he did in fact exist and that he wasn't just some hunting dog. That he was someone and died in order to protect our country but it can't be said the same for Kagari…

I know he didn't run off on me. I chose him myself, I know he wouldn't have turned his back on division one no matter the situation. Deep down, I know he's dead and what hurts is that I can't prove it that he's dead; I can't bring his murderer to justice… Kagari didn't deserve to die like that, if someone deserved to live, it was him. He never got the chance to…

"Ginoza I won't give up on you, I won't. I'll keep coming back here over and over again until-"

"I won't recover… It's over. My hue has already stabilized; it won't go down anymore…" I cut her off as I lift myself up to sit, my back against the wall as I look at her.

So all those times the nurse told me that I had a visitor it was Tsunemori all along… Exactly how much time can she afford to waste, she's been asking for a visit every day. I knew she was persistent but that's a bit too much if you ask me.

"I have confidence that it will, maybe not right now but I know you will recover but you don't have to do it alone." She replies and I almost want to laugh at that comment but I don't out of respect.

If there is one thing about Tsunemori, it's that she's too optimistic about everything. Maybe that's why her hue is always so clean; after everything that's happened as of late and she's standing on the other side of that glass I'd say that she's managing her hue well like always.

"There's nothing left for me…" I mumble as I look away. Being a latent criminal, there isn't much I can do and now everyone who has always said that I'd be one can all come and rub it into my face. They won't care why and how it happened and they won't care about what I've lost, all they will care about is that I'm a dirty latent criminal just like my father. One of society's garbage.

"Ginoza, I need you. You may no longer be an inspector but I still need you, I want you to think about coming back to the MWPSB as an enforcer." She tells me and there it is, not that it surprises me. All fallen inspectors always become enforcers afterwards because that's all they can do but I don't even think I can bring myself to do even that.

I'm foreshadowing dad in every possible way and although I accept it and take the resemblance to remember him by, I don't know if I can take it all. I used to hate my eyes because they looked just like his and now I have the same mechanical arm as he had and now somehow becoming an enforcer I'd be even more like him but if it hadn't been for me he'd still be an enforcer. He'd still be alive if it wasn't for my foolish mistakes.

"I should have died…" I mumble as I feel my eyes start to burn and I fight to hold the tears from slipping out but that's the truth. That day it should have been me that died, not him.

"Ginoza-"

"That dynamite was meant for me… It should have been me…" I state. "It would have been better if I had died-"

"Don't say that! Just don't say that!" She quickly cuts me off as he hits the glass window. "How many more must die? So many are gone and I'm so grateful that you're still here so please don't say that it be better if you had died." She adds, not bothering to hide her own tears but I can't bring myself to allow mine to come out. I just can't do it…

"When I found you and Masaoka, I was horrified. There was so much blood and I knew Masaoka was dead but you were lying on top of him, not moving…" She explains as she wipes her tears with her hands before giving me a soft smile. "I was afraid that I had lost you too, but you were alive and I was so relieved."

Division one must be pretty empty right now. With Kougami gone to who knows where, dad and Kagari dead and having lost my job there is only Kunizuka and Tsunemori left… I can't help but find it funny how division one had always been known for being so great, look at it now… It's in complete shamble.

"Ginoza I want you to live, I don't want you to die so please don't die but I need you so please come with me." She says her voice calm again.

"I'd be a poor enforcer, I can't even get used to this arm…" I answer as take hold of my mechanical arm over my shirt.

No matter how many times I touch it, I can't get used to the cold hard metal that used to be warm and even though I've had it for a while it always feels strange but I think what I have a hard time with it the most is that even though I have an artificial arm, I don't feel anything with it like a normal arm would and when I grab something I always squeeze too hard.

"We'll work at it together; we'll pull through so will you please think about it?" She asks.

"I guess… There isn't anything else for me in this world…" I answer. Not like I have much of a choice, being an enforcer is the only thing I can do now and someone has to uphold the law so I guess it might as well be me.

"You're wrong. You're hue might have gotten high but you're still the same Ginoza that took me under his wing and I refuse to see or let you drown." She tells me and somehow all that fatigue I saw in her earlier just suddenly vanished.

Tsunemori sure is something; she's been through a lot in the short amount of times since she became an inspector. She blamed herself when the girl behind Spooky boogey was murdered, watched her friend get her throat slashed right in front of her and continued pushing forward when everything was crashing down around us until she was left on her own and yet she still stands confidently and her hue always clear… Sometimes I wonder if Tsunemori isn't exactly like Makishima for being criminally asymptomatic and if so, she just can't be judged by this flawed system.

"I'm the last person who deserves your compassion…" I mumble as I start having slight discomfort in my shoulder again but at least it's bearable. The jolts of pain have started to reduce bit by bit since I've been here so I can't complain.

"Why? Because we haven't always seen eye to eye or maybe because of my actions, it caused you to worry about me and I completely ignored how you felt." She says as she continues. "By all means I sure did not help for your hue to darken and I'm so sorry." She adds and I guess I did worry about her but she isn't exactly to blame for why I fell.

"It had already begun before you came into the team." I tell her and it's the truth, it was already over sixty when she joined the MWPSB and with everything it just kept getting higher and higher no matter what I did.

I know I should have stepped down to take time to treat my hue when I was advised to do so by the counselor but even with therapy I don't think it would have saved my hue and if I had gone. What would have happened to the team? I just couldn't abandon everyone when every man counted.

"My dad fell and my former partner fell, it was only a matter of time until I succumb to the same fate. Just didn't think it go down that way…" I add as I get up to walk around my cell to shake off the numbness in my legs.

"I miss both of them too" Tsunemori says after a few seconds. "I wanted to capture Makishima and then somehow turn it like Kougami had helped in his capture and he would have been forgiven to return but nothing turned out the way I had hoped for."

"We were set to lose right from the start, there was nothing to save Makishima from Kougami and quite frankly he deserved what he got." I state and the strange thing it felt good to say what was on my mind for once and somehow it makes me feel a little better as I catch Tsunemori's expression that I add. "Explains my darken hue…"

She gives me a light smile at my comment. "You knew Kougami best so you knew what he was capable of, more than me but what is done is done and we can't go back no matter how hard we want to."

I can't argue with that, even if I mope around here it would change the fact that Kougami is gone and dad died to save my life. I guess in a way, it's what he wanted in the end. He made the decision to let Makishima go in order to save my life; to him I was more important than capturing that mad man.

"I can get you out of here and bring you to the MWPSB. You'll be much more comfortable there than here, of course you still need time to heal." She states, well she wouldn't be wrong at least I'd have more space than this small square cell.

"So you'll take on my offer?" She asks.

"I guess…" I answer back as I walk closer to the glass.

"Great then let's get you out of here." She adds before walking away with a smile on her face to get the nurse but knowing her I'm sure all the paperwork has already been done and I can't help but smile at that thought.


End file.
